Battle of the Bulging Nose
This article is incomplete. You can help the wiki by adding to it.| Battle of the Bulging Nose | ||||||||
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 The Nose eclipses the battle field, bathing the bloodshed in darkness | ||||||||
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| Belligerents | ||||||||
 MOTHER BEEFY BOYS |
Kiwifarms.cc Gearlandia.haus | Poa.st | ||||||
| Commanders and leaders | ||||||||
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TylerPrude | Graf |
Crunklord420 Gear | ||||||
| Strength | ||||||||
| 2 guys posting a jpg of a nose | 14,000 Podcast Race soldiers | Hundreds, if not thousands, of shitposters enjoying the show | ||||||
The Battle of the Bulging Nose was a shitposting conflict between the rowdy and untamable BEEFY BOYS and the Neo-Nazi LARPers of Poa.st. The battle was a result of months of tense relations both between Tyler trolling the Nuremspergs for their shit political takes, as well was Grafs increasing jealousy at how handsome and MEATY the BEEFY BOYS were compared to his emaciated Canadian frame.
BEEFY Joins Fedi
On May 1st 2021, Prude quietly launched BEEFYBOYS.club in his ongoing efforts to decentralize much of The WIDEVERSE, in hopes to avoid The Final Bop. Much of his experience and reference for setting up the instance came from Alex Gleason, developer of the software the site uses, and Graf, a fellow admin of one of the larger Right leaning instances, Poast. Poast had not long been on Fedi, only launched in January of the same year, but had quickly become the landing spot for many right leaning personalities fleeing Gab and Twitter. As such, there was a natural friendship between the users of BB.C and Poast in those early days, with Graf frequently lending assistance with Prudes many technical issues.
Hostilities Begin
This period of peace was short lived, as around November of 2021 Poast experienced an increase of refugees from Gab due to disagreements mostly stemming from Groypers and their associated Podcast heroes. As such, the personalities on Poast began to take a turn for the worse. Whereas before most posts were lighthearted and fun, they now were mostly shitty takes on current politics ranging from hating Donald Trump (also known as Trump Derangement Syndrome) to simping for dead Iranian generals or rationalizing being on welfare. Tyler saw a prime opportunity to poke fun at these retarded takes and found them to be easy to provoke into a hellthread where they would ree for 12+ hours.
He became so infamous prior to the shift from BEEFYBOYS.CLUB to BEEFYBOYS.WIN, that most of the more prominent wignats had him blocked and muted, to avoid getting dookie chuted. This of course changed with the domain move, as with a new account he was no longer blocked, and able to once again troll with little hinderance. This proved fatal for Poast, as when making fun of a Nuremsperg for condoning looting (an act they had just a year prior condemned as being something only people they saw as subhuman did. Borzoi, one of the podcast hosts that Poasters simped for, attempted to dunk on Tyler, not expecting the Slavic chad to pull out his ace.
Posting of the Nose
That ace proved to be a picture of Borzoi's Jewish wife, an ironic relationship given his much proclaimed hatred of Jews. Immediately he flew into a rage, sources saying he sent 100s of angry DMs to Graf, demanding he defederated Tyler lest the podcasters pull their sizeable financial contributions from the site. Graf, being completely beholden to the Podcast Race, willingly obliged, powerless to disobey. Poast was in utter shambles at the sight of a single JPG. Succ, hearing of the butthurt, promptly joined the posting of the nose, as did many others from various instances. This resulted in all of BBW getting defederated, as well as other instances and users.
Prude and Jack, in their cowardice, immediately tried to mend bridges with Poast, getting BBW refederated. Despite that, Poasters still in a rage at their god being attacked, spared no mercy in their assault on the two for daring to stand up for their friend. A brief armistice lasted for a few days, before Graf in an unrelated thread, called Prude a snake, resulting in Prude and Jack both having enough and joining with their fallen comrades in posting NOSE.JPG and getting BBW defederated once and for all.
Aftermath
The Posting of the Nose sent shockwaves throughout all of Fediverse. Kiwifarms.cc most notably joined in by creating an emoji of the image, an action by a rogue intern that proved to be unfixable by KFCC staff. Further rogue KFCC elements began spamming Poast with pictures of the nose, forcing Graf to once again bow to Podcast Race pressure and implement measures to prevent this, that in turn accidentally almost defederated Poast from KF.CC
Podcast simps remain mad as fuck that anyone would are disagree with their unassailable ethos, lamenting the horrors of doxxing (despite continuing to do it to targets they deem worthy).