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 | id="mp-left" class="MainPageBG" style="width:55%; border:1px solid #cef2e0; padding:0; background:#f5fffa; vertical-align:top; color:#000;" |
-<h2 id="mp-tfa-h2" style="margin:0.5em; background:#cef2e0; font-family:inherit; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">{{#ifexpr:{{formatnum:{{PAGESIZE:Wikipedia:Today's featured article/{{#time:F j, Y}}}}|R}}>150|From today's featured article|Featured article <span style="font-size:85%; font-weight:normal;">(Check back later for today's.)</span>}}</h2>
+<h2 id="mp-tfa-h2" style="margin:0.5em; background:#cef2e0; font-family:inherit; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Featured article <span style="font-size:85%; font-weight:normal;"></span></h2>
-<div id="mp-tfa" style="padding:0.1em 0.6em;">{{#ifexpr:{{formatnum:{{PAGESIZE:Wikipedia:Today's featured article/{{#time:F j, Y}}}}|R}}>150|{{Wikipedia:Today's featured article/{{#time:F j, Y}}}}|{{Wikipedia:Today's featured article/{{#time:F j, Y|-1 day}}}}}}</div>
+<div id="mp-tfa" style="padding:0.1em 0.6em;">'''The Siege of Lowtaxia''' was a battle between the shitposters of BMW and the Goons of Lowtaxes official Discord. It is considered one of the precursor battles to [[Clown World War I]]. <br><br>[[Siege_of_Lowtaxia|Read More...]]</div>
 <h2 id="mp-dyk-h2" style="clear:both; margin:0.5em; background:#cef2e0; font-family:inherit; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Did you know...</h2>
 <div id="mp-dyk" style="padding:0.1em 0.6em 0.5em;">{{Did you know}}</div>