Cal Worthington

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Cal Worthington
Calvin Coolidge Worthington

(1920-11-27)November 27, 1920
Shidler, Oklahoma or Bly, Oklahoma, U.S.
DiedSeptember 8, 2013(2013-09-08) (aged 92)
Other namesCalvin Coolidge Worthington
Calvin Worthington
Cal Coolidge Worthington
OccupationCar dealer
Known forA long-standing series of offbeat television commercials featuring "my dog Spot"
Spouse(s)four divorces
  • Rod Worthington
  • Barbara Worthington
  • Calvin Worthington
  • Courtney Worthington Shepherd
  • Susan Skellenger
  • Coldren Worthington
Parent(s)Benjamin Franklin Worthington
Relatives8 siblings

Cal Worthington was one of the founders of BMW and the leader of FORD. He is most remembered for his endearing cosplay of an old LA auto salesman, complete with mic spam of the old campy commercials during raids.


Cal was one of the earlier staples of the Experimental Rust group of Something Awful. When the Goons eventually all migrated to Goon Playground, Cal and The Captain began the clan FORD, which was mostly based out of the northern regions of the map. Their original gimmick was guerilla warfare, preferring to attack unseen and in small swift actions. However, as their clan grew, they grew bolder and eventually struck at their longtime rival, GM, at their home base, completely raiding it and the nearby GAYVENGERS TOWER in New DETROIT.

GMs wrath was swift, and FORD was destroyed. This set of battles would eventually convince the leaders of these clans that infighting was no longer desirable, and that the combined power against pubbies would be preferable. Cal himself was the one who came up with the name BMW, based of the theme of car manufacturers, but foreign because the clan would be out in the wild, no longer at home on a Goon server.

Cal was one of the more active members in the earliest days of BMW, accompanying Kimsemus on most raids and helping with the DREADFORTS design that was still being finalized. When Kimsemus and Taylor Swift were banned from Psisyndicate, Cal was one of the people who suggested Rusty Bottoms as BMWs next target, based on the proliferation of streamers on the server. As such, Cals first two targets were Jaq and Xyelz, especially the latter, who he would later work into such a frenzy that he spent weeks trying to take down BMW.

However, not all of Cals contributions were helpful. After the HR Raid, Cal took the responsibility of being liaison to the tenuous armistice between BMW and SPEED. His insistence on maintaining this armistice, however, led to the SPEED Assault and the Fall of the DREADFORT. After this, Cals job would begin taking up most his time, and his playtime dropped considerably until {INSERT DATE HERE} while BMW was on Rusticity.

Cals end would eventually come however when during an attempted revival of Bishyalers server, he refused to cooperate with BMWs plan and was chided by Taylor. Cal took the reprimanding poorly, and instead took his ball and left, only showing up again after The Wonka Uprising, but never participating.

He also led a brief Black Desert Online clan of Bimmers named Goons 4 Trump. Some say on a quiet night in California, you can still hear him shilling Black Desert Online...